“Dear God” is the letter I’ve written to tell God about my day or whatever I was going on in my life. I was so angry, lose and grateful to God so I stop praying and start writing. I wrote a lot while I was depressed and abandon from God. I prayed so hard for God to help me too but what he wanted me to be. I did everything for God. I thought by doing all the right things good things will always happen for me but I was wrong. Life is full of ups and downs. The bible never said you were not going to go through nothing. Honestly, I struggle a lot but I am fighter and God always had my back. I felt like a missionary in Arizona I helped a lot of people and a bus driver told me to keep doing what I was doing. So I continue until it was time for me to go. I was really sick and dehydrated. I didn’t feel the same. I studied the word faithful since I was nine. It was the only book that brought me comforted. I enjoyed writing my letter to God. It is my only outlet. Here is a sample……
In this year of Jubilee, I manage to work at a job that was partners with CPS (Chicago Public School). I felt I was apart of a team that really respect me. However, I had to walk away because I was showing signs of mania. I was under so much pressure I was trying to balance two places a once. I was between to schools. God, why does my heart get me in so much trouble? I had no business paying for that parent a massage. Was I overstepping my boundaries? And I know what I did was wrong however I was referred to the parent by the director. All I wanted to do is help her because she was having suicidal thoughts. I know I’m not a doctor but I did find her someone to talk to because she had three daughters to think about. I understand God why they put me on probation. I know God that I need to focus on myself. I forgive those ladies I should have told Kim it was too much but I did know God. All I wanted to do was feel normal again. But I’m not normal I like to think I’m legendary. There is no one that can fight this illness like me. God, I will be victorious for I promise I will not let you down.